On a Personal Note: The fear of empty nest, by Rabbi Susan Silverman

My spouse and I are now empty nesters.

I have dreaded this since the day I became a mom. Really. I was actively haunted by it—having to calm myself with the number of years I still had before each kid would launch. Yes, them growing and heading into their own lives is what we parent for. We wish nothing short of this for them. But, wow, is it hard to let them go.

Working in the foster care space, we see children removed from families not because they are young adults striking out on their own, but because of challenges in their families of origin. Thus by necessity, in the placement and foster family side of things, we focus on the children in our care. However there are two things I think about every day. One, is that the well-being of the family of origin is deeply tied to the well-being of the child. Moreover, the other is that these separations are heartbreaking for everyone in that family, and that some of these removals do not have to happen or can at least be repaired.

For so many of us, the healthy independence of our children is painful even when those relationships are loving and connected. It’s hard to imagine the traumatic separation for parents and kids when the child still needs our daily presence and when crisis and pain led to that separation.

I can wallow in the sadness around us like a pro. I still do sometimes. Nevertheless, for Second Nurture, like all foster care organizations, wallowing is not an option. It is our obligation to be engaged in the system and, with each child placed in the care of one of our families, do everything we can to maintain those relationships and our kids and their parents of origin be the family that will one day, have that bittersweet and healthy separation. We hope that our foster families will be there, by the parents’ sides, smiling through tears.

Susan Silverman, CEO of 2N

Columbus Dispatch: Second Nurture expands to Columbus

There are a number of exciting things that have been happening in Columbus, Ohio!

This past March we officially launched our first affiliate branch and have implemented the Second Nurture model in three Columbus partner communities: Temple Israel, First Church, and Tifereth Israel. Together, they represent the Broad Street Interfaith Alliance, a co-op of faith-based communities that work in partnership with us to share ideas, leverage resources, and create a more diverse support network for our foster families.

Our expansion was only possible through the generous support of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, The Columbus Foundation, and the United Way of Central Ohio.

The activities of Second Nurture have received attention of the Columbus Dispatch. You can read the whole article here.

Next week, on Tuesday, May 17th, 6-7pm ET we will co-host our first foster orientation with our incredible community partner, The Buckeye Ranch. All are welcome and encouraged to attend. Register here to join us. If you have additional questions, email me at info@2nurture.org.

We hope to see you there!

Courtney Keys, Regional Director 2N Columbus

On a Personal Note: A view of the horizon

A magnificent view to the horizon.

And a precipice.

I am awash with an immense sense of possibility and in the next breath dizzying vertigo. The joy in being there for our families, the exhilaration of seeing our “brand” solidify—and the aching knowledge that we could cultivate and support so many more foster families so kids are not flailing and unseen.

All around us are the components we need to build the bridge to a thriving national model. It’s time to bring them together into the strong, impactful infrastructure that will nurture 2N Regions and Communities nationwide.

We on the Executive Team—Jen Moran, Esther Fuerster-Ashkenazi and I—are ready to contract, to no longer be involved in the day to day running of 2N Regions and communities. We are ready to see our local 2N Teams take the reins while we fuel them—and new emergent 2N Regions nationwide —with systems, data, best practices, training materials, educational resources through web-based and in-person conferences.

This is what I am spending my time thinking about, planning and implementing every day. And in that process, reaching out to so many wise and experienced people in so many realms who are helping us build that sturdy bridge to a future where whole communities step up to hold kids and the families that love them.

We will contract in order to expand, so that more and more 2N Regions can thrive and flourish independently—but with our support—a Second Nurture for Second Nurture!

Susan Silverman, CEO